My last post was boring. Just boring as all get out. I usually re-read the previous post before I do a new one and I just couldn’t get to the end of that last one without my mind wandering. I tried like a hundred times. The shame of it!
Do you have your decorations up? You do?
Kill a tree, stick in the corner of your house, put junk all over it and then 3 weeks (or months) later, take it down. What’s the point of this? It really has nothing to do with Christianity, so even if you’re Christian, there’s no rhyme or reason to this. A menorah has a specific symbolic value, so maybe, but a pine tree?
It’s pretty, I’ll give you that. Fun too. Yes. I usually do it myself. This year we’re running late because, ahem, someone has yet to chop down one of our pine trees and drag its carcass into the house and set it upright so that I might put crap all over it. AHEM.
I hear that years ago, there used to be a Christmas tree erected in Plainfield village, but some crank complained that it didn’t represent all religions — ACTUALLY, IT DOESN’T technically REPRESENT ANY RELIGION — and so the tree was banished. This is annoying, no? It’s just something fun. COME ON. I don’t know who this person was, or if they’re even still in Plainfield, but I have a few suggestions that I think might work for you so you let me know if we can get your permission:
1. Just a huge pile of Christmas lights — no tree.
2. A absolutely ENORMOUS pizza from Positive Pie, with Christmas lights on it.
3. Just an enormous pizza.
It’s a moose menorah. You can buy it for me if you like. Find it here.